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Finding Grief Resources
There are many resources available to support your healing path.
Topic Quick Links - click on a topic below to go to that area of the page.
Book and Websites
Vetted online recommendations
Community Resources
Comprehensive list of Monterey organizations
A Helpful Checklist
Grief is as unique to you as your fingerprint. Grief is influenced by many factors and can be a lonely, sometimes confusing experience. There are resources to support you every step of the way.
Some commonly reported experiences of grieving are:
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Feelings of disorientation or numbness.
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Grief “fog”— trouble concentrating or focusing.
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A sense of unreality — like your loved one is on a trip and not gone forever.
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Waves of deep emotion (sadness/angry) followed by times of calm.
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Loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, fatigue, physical pain.
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Thoughts of regret (the “What if?” Or “If only?” questions).
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Persistent images/thoughts of the dying time.
Helpful hints:
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Learn about grief, what is normal and expected.
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Be gentle with yourself.
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Practice good self-care, as best as you can.
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Notice what triggers your grief — a date on the calendar, a song, a location.
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Talk about your grief to someone who will listen quietly.
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A support group, a therapist, a listening friend, or write about your feelings in a journal.
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Remind yourself that your grief will change over time. In the beginning it is a heavy sack, filled with sharp edges, difficult to manage. Over time, it will be smaller, smoother, and easier to carry along with you.
Finding grief support:
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Contact your local hospice agencies. All have bereavement services.
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Check with local churches. Many have faith-based grief programs.
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Papillon Center for Loss & Transition:
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Free bereavement support for adults 18 and over
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(800) 214-5439
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https://www.coastalkidshomecare.org/counselingandbereavementservices
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COUNSELING
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(800) 214-5439
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Bereavement support for children, teens, and families (5 to 21 years of age)
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Bilingual programming available
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24-hour crisis lines | Suicide Prevention (not limited to suicide) Toll-free: (877) ONE-LIFE or (877) 663-5433
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Books and Websites
Website Quick Links - click on the title
General Grief
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Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing after Loss by Pat Schwiebert & Chuck DeKlyen. 2005
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Grief is a Mess by Jackie Schuld. 2005
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Grief Prints: A Practical Guide for Supporting a Grieving Person by Radha Stern. 2015
Adult Grief
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Because Love Never Dies: www.grief.com
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Grief Share: www.griefshare.org
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Hospice Foundation of America: www.hospicefoundation.org
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Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler. 2019
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Grief One Day at a Time: 365 Meditations to help you Heal After Loss by Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. 2016;
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It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine. 2017
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The Widow’s Journal: Questions to Guide You through Grief and Life Planning after the Loss of a Partner by Carrie Freeman, Ph.D. 2015
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The Still Point of The Turning World by Emily Rapp. 2013
Children and Teen Grief
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The Dougy Center: www.dougy.org
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National Alliance for Grieving Children: www.childrengrieve.org
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Death is Stupid (Ordinary Terrible Things) by Anastasia Higginbotham. 2016
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The Memory Box: A Book about Grief by Joanna Rowland & Thea Baker. 2017:
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“Something Very Sad Happened: A Toddler’s Guide to Understanding Death” by Bonnie Zucker. 2016 (includes extensive “Notes to Parents/Caregivers” section)
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“The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst & Joanne Lew-Vriefhoff. 2018
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“Healing your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas” by Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. 2001
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“Weird is Normal: When Teens Grieve” by Jenny Lee Wheeler. 2010
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“When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens about Grieving and Healing” by Marilyn Gootman, Ed. D. 2019
Community Resources
Website Quick Links - click on the title
Youth and Teen Mental Health
New Hope Counseling at Compass Church
Contact information: 831-422-7811 ext. 130
e-mail jeri@compasschurchmc.org
Description: New Hope counseling offers no fee, short term, biblically based counseling for individuals, couples, teens, and children. They provide support for various life challenges, including grief, loneliness, guilt, anger, forgiveness, marriage, parenting, family issues, depression, anxiety, and spiritual questions.
Shine A Light Counseling Center
Contact information: 831-996-1222; Email: appointments@shinealightcounseling.com
Description: Shine-A-Light counseling center offers short and long-term therapy services, including individual therapy, couples counseling, youth and family therapy, group therapy and workshops.
Contact information: 831-293-4492
Description: This nonprofit organization provides a path to recovery, self-discovery, and personal growth through equine assisted psychotherapy. They offer services on a sliding scale, ensuring accessibility for all, with clinicians volunteering their time to help clients tap into the healing power of horses.
Contact information: Salinas: 831-272-6644
Description: HAH is dedicated to ending cycles of violence and abuse by empowering children and young adults with knowledge, skills, and confidence. They offer programs such as bullying prevention, sticks and stones (counseling for children), children 1st, teen programs, teen success Inc., and community counseling services for parents, couples, teens, and adults.
Contact information: 831-455-9965; Email: info@senecacenter.org
Description: Headquartered in Salinas, the Kinship center provides services centered on foster care, adoption, relative caregiver support, children's mental health and wrap around services, legal guardianship assistance, and parent and professional education.
Adult Mental Health Services
Contact information: 831-655-1334
Description: the alliance on aging offers a variety of services to support seniors in Monterey County including Medicare counseling, tax assistance, senior peer counseling and advocacy programs. Their senior peer counseling program provides free, confidential counseling services to individuals aged 60 and older, helping them navigate life's transitions and challenges
Description:
Suicide Prevention Services of Central Coast
Contact information: 24-hour crisis line 877-663-5433
Description: Provides confidential crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to individuals in Monterey County. Their 24-hour crisis line offers immediate support, and they also engage in community education to raise awareness about suicide prevention. You can join a peer support group whether the person you lost was a friend, family member, co-worker, student, or other relationship. It doesn’t matter if your loss was in the past or happened recently.
Shine A Light Counseling Center
Contact information: 831-996-1222; Email: appointments@shinealightcounseling.com
Description: Shine-A-Light counseling center offers short and long-term therapy services, including individual therapy, couples counseling, youth and family therapy, group therapy and workshops.
A Helpful Checklist
Quick Document Link: Handling Affairs After Death of a Loved One
The sorrowful days and weeks following a loved one’s death is likely filled with the stressful tasks of sharing the loss with family and friends, planning a funeral, and handling the many financial, legal and professional relationships that must now be unwound. This helpful checklist identifies the most critical action items that should be addressed following the loss of your loved one.
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☐ Notify Family and Friends
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You will want to share with family and friends that their loved one has died, either by a group text or mass email, or by individual phone calls. You may also consider asking the friend or family member to share in this process and help to spread the word.
☐ Obtain an Official Declaration of Death
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An official declaration of death must be obtained before getting the death certificate, a critical piece of paperwork and first step before many other tasks can be undertaken. A pronouncement of death is done by medical staff if the death occurred in the hospital or nursing home, or if at home under hospice care, or if the death was unexpected, by a medical professional such as the hospice nurse.
☐ Request Certified Copies of Death Certificates
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You will need at least three certified death records to complete upcoming tasks, such as closing bank accounts and credit cards, file insurance claims, and register the death with governmental agencies, although some tasks will require less expensive copies of an original certificate. The cost is ~$24 for each original certificate.
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The funeral home will assist in getting copies for you, and you can always reorder more copies by contacting the funeral director or reaching out to the deceased’s local vital statistics office.
See the complete checklist for more ways to find support and comfort
Versión en ESPAÑOL:
PAPILLON CENTER FOR LOSS & TRANSITION
a service of Coastal Kids Home Care